Maybe it comes as no surprise to you that social isolation is one of the important factors leading not only to a shorter life but also to depression.

The capacity for self-sufficiency reduces the pains of dependency for sure, especially when any form of dependency becomes equated with pain or feeling small and unseen.  It also helps if you feel resented for having needs that are felt to be burdensome by someone else.

So, is self-sufficiency really a problem?

Yes.

But today’s psychoanalytic practitioners say that for many mental health issues, psychodynamic therapy is at least as effective as, if not better than other therapy approaches—and should not be ignored.

The pain, emptiness, and confusion of the lost self can be debilitating and intolerable. It is not, however, a hopeless loss. The adult child of the narcissistic family can be found, or perhaps rediscovered, through the trajectory of a life of healing experiences. Through therapy, caring relationships, spiritual reflection, or any form of reparative growth, with deep effort, care, and self-compassion, one can flourish.

In our intimate relationships, as humans, –we have a strong yearning for a “wrong” to be recognized in it’s entirety, including the effects the offense has brought to others. When the apartheid regime fell in South Africa, to help it transition to a democracy, a commission was established called “Truth and Reconciliation.” The idea was to provide the opportunity for victims to voice their experiences in public forums and be heard, as an important or necessary step to reconciliation in a vastly divided society.

Finding one’s voice is critical in the process of healing. Individual therapy is a place where confronting these confusing and painful experiences can lead to releasing the shame and carving a path towards freedom and growth. Continuing to carry the effects of abuse by keeping the silence preserves shame.

Becoming a parent is a deeply stirring experience. Each pregnancy, birth, and unique baby is a new experience, filled with a variety of emotions and meanings for all involved. Rocky starts can happen for numerous reasons …

This time of year can be stressful for many of us. Expectations of all sorts have the potential of not being met. One piece that gets stirred up and perhaps one of the most important spoken or unspoken layers is the expectation or yearning for some feeling of a belonging and/or a sense of warmth that gets exchanged in meaningful ways. 

Here at Valley Community Counseling Center, a low cost clinic in North Hollywood, we believe in love.  We work from the premise that most couples who originally loved each other can be helped to rebuild their relationship if they are willing to put in the time and effort.

Only privileged individuals are allowed to grow old.  Nonetheless, the aging process can be daunting in a society that glorifies youth, physical beauty, productivity and efficiency.